Let me preface this next joke and all of those in the future following it that I personally do not have negative feelings in any way toward any demographic group. All of the jokes I post here are merely for humor sake and should in no way indicate animosity towards any demographic group. With that being said lets have a laugh!
Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning.
The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath.
The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy
The 87 year old said "Well, I eat Jewish rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."
So, on the way home, the 80 year old stops at the bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help. He said, "Do you have any Jewish rye bread?"
She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it . Would you like some?"
He said, "I want 5 loaves.
She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves...by the time you get to the 5th loaf, it'll be hard"
He replied, "I can't believe it, everybody in the world knows about this shit but me."
Friday, January 18, 2008
Friday, January 11, 2008
Friends and Jokes
One of the greatest things about internet, mainly email, is the ability to share information in a expedient manner. One of the great things about my friends is the type of information they choose to share with me. I.E. Jokes. Here is a good one that I got the other day. One of many that made me chuckle and the first of many I will post here.
Two California Highway Patrol Officers were conducting speeding enforcement on I-15 near MCAS Miramar. One of the officers was using a hand held radar device to check speeding vehicles approaching near the crest of a hill. The officers were suddenly surprised when the radar gun began reading 300 miles per hour. The officer attempted to reset the radar gun, but it would not reset and turned off. Just then a deafening roar over the treetops revealed that the radar had in fact locked onto a USMC F/A-18 Hornet which was engaged in a low flying exercise near the location. Back at the CHP Headquarters the Patrol Captain fired off a complaint to the USMC Base Commander. Back came a reply in true USMC style:
Thank you for the message, which allows us to complete the file on this incident. You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Hornet had detected the presence of, and subsequently locked onto your hostile radar equipment and automatically sent a jamming signal back to it. Furthermore, an air to ground missile aboard the fully armed aircraft had also automatically locked onto your equipment. Fortunately the Marine Pilot flying the Hornet recognized the situation for what it was, quickly responded to the missile system alert status and was able to override the automated defense system before the missile was launched and your hostile radar was destroyed. Thank you for your concerns.
Two California Highway Patrol Officers were conducting speeding enforcement on I-15 near MCAS Miramar. One of the officers was using a hand held radar device to check speeding vehicles approaching near the crest of a hill. The officers were suddenly surprised when the radar gun began reading 300 miles per hour. The officer attempted to reset the radar gun, but it would not reset and turned off. Just then a deafening roar over the treetops revealed that the radar had in fact locked onto a USMC F/A-18 Hornet which was engaged in a low flying exercise near the location. Back at the CHP Headquarters the Patrol Captain fired off a complaint to the USMC Base Commander. Back came a reply in true USMC style:
Thank you for the message, which allows us to complete the file on this incident. You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Hornet had detected the presence of, and subsequently locked onto your hostile radar equipment and automatically sent a jamming signal back to it. Furthermore, an air to ground missile aboard the fully armed aircraft had also automatically locked onto your equipment. Fortunately the Marine Pilot flying the Hornet recognized the situation for what it was, quickly responded to the missile system alert status and was able to override the automated defense system before the missile was launched and your hostile radar was destroyed. Thank you for your concerns.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
No Fishing at Sail Ho Golf Club
When the rains come to Sail Ho Golf Club in Point Loma it gets very slow in the Pro Shop. Thankfully the game of golf is so addicting our regulars still come out to play. No matter what the weather is like. Thankfully because of that we look forward to those moments. The pictures seen below are a prime example of not only the type of regulars we have here but of one regular in particular.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Christmas Tree Pictures
Monday, December 24, 2007
Mind Fucking and Decision Making
I don't know about you but when you make decisions that cause a great deal of uncertainty one begins to MIND FUCK oneself. As you can see in the past few posts.
But what is even more important is that before you make a decision or act in any way you need to look at why you want to do it. However what is paramount is to determine were you spiritually centered when you make the decision as well as during the times you're basing your decision on.
Case in point. My girlfriend drinks, sometimes more than I like. How can I kick her to the curb if I was not spiritually fit when she got drunk in the past. If I was not and I act and make a decision based on that I would not be basing my action on evidence but rather hearsay.
But what is even more important is that before you make a decision or act in any way you need to look at why you want to do it. However what is paramount is to determine were you spiritually centered when you make the decision as well as during the times you're basing your decision on.
Case in point. My girlfriend drinks, sometimes more than I like. How can I kick her to the curb if I was not spiritually fit when she got drunk in the past. If I was not and I act and make a decision based on that I would not be basing my action on evidence but rather hearsay.
Letter to Her
[Names have been omitted in the interest of anonymity"
-----, I am so frustrated and confused with this whole deal. I am sad and feeling like we are getting cheated. Here are the questions I keep running through my head. Could I marry you and spend the rest of my life with you? Possibly. Do I love you? Unequivocally. Am I in pain without you? Undeniably.
With that being said and you knowing how I feel about you & your drinking, I'm sure we both want to know if we have a chance at working this all out right now so we can truly enjoy the spirit of Christmas and the holidays. I don't want to go through the rest of my life asking "What if".
I don't know if this will work, and I can not change the way I feel about your drinking. We both know that as far back as Jenna's party I have made my position known. The question is there a way we can both find happiness and not hurt each other further? I can not be subjected to your blackouts and binges.
At first I thought there was no hope. Being in AA and watching people with a problem not make it really skews my thinking. I thought us staying together would just bring more pain to us both. However we in AA are sometimes biased. Sometimes I fear you might have a problem because you blackout, and because of your family history. Therefore, I get scared and want to run. I think I have made my position known at least a few times but you still do this drinking to excess thing around me.
However, my only guide in this situation is the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and the opinions of a few friends. The Big Book describes different types of drinkers. Some can stop or moderate without help or AA when an event occurs, some can't and need AA's help. I hope and pray you are not the later of the two.
What I am trying to say is that if you value the time and commitment we have put in each other over the past two years as I do, can you either stop drinking, or stop getting drunk, and blacking out? (I guess you could call this the ultimatum you were looking for.) Because I can not handle it when you do. It scares me to my core with your family history as well as my experience. True or not, when you drink, I see my worst enemy...alcoholism, and it denies me of the compassion and love that we both share for each other. Lastly, I hate the look of shame and remorse in your eyes the next day. I don't want my problems to be projecting on you so I need you to try not getting drunk or blacking out around me. That is if you are still interested in me.
If this works we will be able to enjoy who knows how long together. If not we will both learn very valuable, yet painful lessons. Again, I don't want to go through the rest of my life asking "What if".
Please respond ASAP because I will be in SD tonight to go to my meeting and I would love to see you if this proposition meets with your approval. Who knows, it might be nice to watch you open your gifts.
Love,
Kirk
-----, I am so frustrated and confused with this whole deal. I am sad and feeling like we are getting cheated. Here are the questions I keep running through my head. Could I marry you and spend the rest of my life with you? Possibly. Do I love you? Unequivocally. Am I in pain without you? Undeniably.
With that being said and you knowing how I feel about you & your drinking, I'm sure we both want to know if we have a chance at working this all out right now so we can truly enjoy the spirit of Christmas and the holidays. I don't want to go through the rest of my life asking "What if".
I don't know if this will work, and I can not change the way I feel about your drinking. We both know that as far back as Jenna's party I have made my position known. The question is there a way we can both find happiness and not hurt each other further? I can not be subjected to your blackouts and binges.
At first I thought there was no hope. Being in AA and watching people with a problem not make it really skews my thinking. I thought us staying together would just bring more pain to us both. However we in AA are sometimes biased. Sometimes I fear you might have a problem because you blackout, and because of your family history. Therefore, I get scared and want to run. I think I have made my position known at least a few times but you still do this drinking to excess thing around me.
However, my only guide in this situation is the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and the opinions of a few friends. The Big Book describes different types of drinkers. Some can stop or moderate without help or AA when an event occurs, some can't and need AA's help. I hope and pray you are not the later of the two.
What I am trying to say is that if you value the time and commitment we have put in each other over the past two years as I do, can you either stop drinking, or stop getting drunk, and blacking out? (I guess you could call this the ultimatum you were looking for.) Because I can not handle it when you do. It scares me to my core with your family history as well as my experience. True or not, when you drink, I see my worst enemy...alcoholism, and it denies me of the compassion and love that we both share for each other. Lastly, I hate the look of shame and remorse in your eyes the next day. I don't want my problems to be projecting on you so I need you to try not getting drunk or blacking out around me. That is if you are still interested in me.
If this works we will be able to enjoy who knows how long together. If not we will both learn very valuable, yet painful lessons. Again, I don't want to go through the rest of my life asking "What if".
Please respond ASAP because I will be in SD tonight to go to my meeting and I would love to see you if this proposition meets with your approval. Who knows, it might be nice to watch you open your gifts.
Love,
Kirk
Nothings Works.
I have been to two AA Meetings today, and countless others of the past week. I have been constantly praying and meditating, reading The Sermon on the Mount by Emmet Fox, The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, and the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, and calling AA's every hour of the day and every waking moment for the past week! And nothing has helped. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! I may look ok and type what my mind says ok but inside I'm a wreck.
My heart wants her back. My HEART, not any other part of my being. However my mind says that what has come was inevitable; that I can not nor should not in any way try to control her drinking. Yet I'm clouded by our conversation the other day where, I may be wrong, she insulated she was sorry and wanted to find a middle ground.
I was always raised to follow my heart and not my head. And it appears that I didn't follow my heart this time for the sack of it getting hurt down the road by her drinking to the state of being drunk or blacking out. Causing my heart to be broken yet one more time.
I want to contact her, call her, myspace her, email her and ask and find out if there is truly any way for this to work so that we can be together during the holiday and next year. I want to find out and talk with her and discover if she can do anything to make this work so, if she is feeling what I'm feeling, we can enjoy the holiday.
My heart wants her back. My HEART, not any other part of my being. However my mind says that what has come was inevitable; that I can not nor should not in any way try to control her drinking. Yet I'm clouded by our conversation the other day where, I may be wrong, she insulated she was sorry and wanted to find a middle ground.
I was always raised to follow my heart and not my head. And it appears that I didn't follow my heart this time for the sack of it getting hurt down the road by her drinking to the state of being drunk or blacking out. Causing my heart to be broken yet one more time.
I want to contact her, call her, myspace her, email her and ask and find out if there is truly any way for this to work so that we can be together during the holiday and next year. I want to find out and talk with her and discover if she can do anything to make this work so, if she is feeling what I'm feeling, we can enjoy the holiday.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
