"If you can't dazzle them with brilliance...baffle them with bullshit"

-Anonymous

Frickin' Elephant

Little Jake is 5 and learning to read.
He points at a picture in a zoo book and says,

"Look Mama! It's a frickin' Elephant!"

Deep breath ... "What did you call it?"

"It's a frickin' Elephant, Mama!It says so on the picture!"

and so it does ...

"A f r i c a n Elephant " Hooked On Phonics strikes again

Jewish Rye Bread

Let me preface this next joke and all of those in the future following it that I personally do not have negative feelings in any way toward any demographic group. All of the jokes I post here are merely for humor sake and should in no way indicate animosity towards any demographic group. With that being said lets have a laugh!

Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning.

The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath.

The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy

The 87 year old said "Well, I eat Jewish rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."

So, on the way home, the 80 year old stops at the bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help. He said, "Do you have any Jewish rye bread?"

She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it . Would you like some?"

He said, "I want 5 loaves.

She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves...by the time you get to the 5th loaf, it'll be hard"

He replied, "I can't believe it, everybody in the world knows about this shit but me."

Friends and Jokes

One of the greatest things about internet, mainly email, is the ability to share information in a expedient manner. One of the great things about my friends is the type of information they choose to share with me. I.E. Jokes. Here is a good one that I got the other day. One of many that made me chuckle and the first of many I will post here.

Two California Highway Patrol Officers were conducting speeding enforcement on I-15 near MCAS Miramar. One of the officers was using a hand held radar device to check speeding vehicles approaching near the crest of a hill. The officers were suddenly surprised when the radar gun began reading 300 miles per hour. The officer attempted to reset the radar gun, but it would not reset and turned off. Just then a deafening roar over the treetops revealed that the radar had in fact locked onto a USMC F/A-18 Hornet which was engaged in a low flying exercise near the location. Back at the CHP Headquarters the Patrol Captain fired off a complaint to the USMC Base Commander. Back came a reply in true USMC style:

Thank you for the message, which allows us to complete the file on this incident. You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Hornet had detected the presence of, and subsequently locked onto your hostile radar equipment and automatically sent a jamming signal back to it. Furthermore, an air to ground missile aboard the fully armed aircraft had also automatically locked onto your equipment. Fortunately the Marine Pilot flying the Hornet recognized the situation for what it was, quickly responded to the missile system alert status and was able to override the automated defense system before the missile was launched and your hostile radar was destroyed. Thank you for your concerns.

No Fishing at Sail Ho Golf Club

When the rains come to Sail Ho Golf Club in Point Loma it gets very slow in the Pro Shop. Thankfully the game of golf is so addicting our regulars still come out to play. No matter what the weather is like. Thankfully because of that we look forward to those moments. The pictures seen below are a prime example of not only the type of regulars we have here but of one regular in particular.