Friday, May 22, 2009

Healing Tears

I finally cried over my Dad for the first time since he passed away. Rivers of emotions and tears flowed and flowed for hours. The last time I cried like this was the day I found out that he was going to die. I remember that day well. I was in the parking lot of the naval hospital with my best friend Rene and my now X-Girlfriend, the only two people that I could count on to be there for me in times like that. Both of them sat by me and held me and helped me through it by just sitting with me, saying nothing, allowing me to cry. Their presence alone allowed me to feel loved, feel cared about, feel supported.

It felt good to cry like this. I've been wanting to do so for months now. Feeling guilty as time passes that I haven't had the emotional breakdown like that of my Mother or others that knew my Dad. It was so nice to truly feel the loss for the first time and be able to let it flow from me, leaving me emotionally drained but spiritually renewed.

Thankfully I was able to call the only person I could right now, my Mom. I am blessed that she is still around and was able to hold me and comfort me like only a loved one could. I am truly blessed.

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