Friday, May 22, 2009


“It is better to lose your pride with someone you love rather than to lose that someone you love with your useless pride.”

I came across this quote several weeks ago, and I have yet to stop thinking about it. Each of us have our own personal defects of character, shortcomings, improper instincts, issues, whatever you wish to call them. I also know that those instincts, such as pride, cause us as well as those around us to react. Sometimes that reaction is the loss of someone, sometimes someone you love.

Our instincts are the root of our problems, and it is our job and personal obligation to constantly seek the truth, and seek answers. Then correct those instincts so that we can not only live happily with ourselves but with those around us. Be that a friend, parent, sibling, or partner to name a few. So many times instincts such as Pride cause us to justify our actions and emotions. Sometimes on external conditions such as the actions of others. Invariably by doing so we pay a price be it physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. We can also lose friends and people close to us. Thereby not only causing us to be in pain but those who love and care about us as well.

One of the beautiful things about this quote is that you can replace the word Pride with anything and it still holds true. Here are some examples: Envy, Lust, Sloth, Greed, Fear, etc. Each of these things if not addressed will cause the same reaction to occur. Personal pain as well as pain to those around us.

Unfortunately self knowledge will not allow you to overcome these shortcomings. Only diligent action can. That action can come in a multitude of ways. For many, the 12 step programs gave the needed method to overcome not only their drinking problem but these obstacles as well. However realizing we are only human we will never reach total perfection, but we must constantly seek daily progress. Sometimes we must seek professional help. The help from someone who can give us a non-biased opinion, suggest proper actions, someone who is trained and knowledgeable about how to overcome the various issues such as these. A friend or family member will not cut the bill. I know for some of my defects of character I have had to just that. No matter how much I talked with friends and family nothing started to change until I sought professional help. Someone who would tell me the truth and not cosign my BS.

The realization that we need help sometimes is not easy, specifically if we are prideful individuals. Sometimes the only thing that can smash this personal pride is pain. That never HAS to be the case. We have nothing to lose if we seek help, but we have the world to gain.

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