Screw it all!

Just got off the phone with a good friend of mine. Whose words put me so much at ease. It went something like this.

"God is making and molding your perfect mate right now and molding you so you will be able to recieve her. A mate where it takes no effort for it to work. It just does."

This is so true! I know I need to stop guessing everything and all of my actions and continue to trust in God. For I truly have a new employer and must trust in him to allow my life to take the path he chooses. However This good friend of mine who told me this has been sober for over 20 years and has a program that I admire. And I know for a fact he prays and meditates on a daily basis. If I had continued on with prayer and meditation after we got back together the last time would it have been different? Would it have taken no effort? Would my defects of character remained in check? Unfortunately I have come to find that the answer would still be no. How depressing! Spirituality is a way of acting and living. It is only through prayer and meditation that we are able to improve our contact with God. Not keep it.